Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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