The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
