its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
