Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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