Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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