i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
