so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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