naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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