i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
