His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
