Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
