Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize