Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
