Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
how drunk are you?
Several
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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