I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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