Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
