Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
