I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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