I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
