guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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