He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
