this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I should be sponsored by Trojan
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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