**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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