My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
