I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
