Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
