Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
