Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
