I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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