Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
