i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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