i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
