I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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