i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
