Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
