I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
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