We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
