He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
