Tell her she can't have a vagina
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
