We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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