My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
