Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Everything about him screamed your future.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
