Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
