Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
