At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
