Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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