So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Randomize
