How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
