I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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