HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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