Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
should my penis look like a turkey
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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