hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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