White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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