Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I can't turn off my feet"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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