Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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