You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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