if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
