No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How does one acquire holy water?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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